How to get laid on Tinder

Top 5 ways to get laid using tinder for men

So you check tinder and you barely have any matches. The ones you do have are so fucking ugly that you wouldn’t want to be seen on road with them and the decent ones barely respond.

You don’t know what you’re doing wrong and those selfie pics you took are not too bad so you don’t know where you went wrong.

I don’t even know why I’m bothering to help anyone, maybe it’s my calling, maybe it’s the chick whose back I’m currently blowing out is worth dropping all my other hoes for but I’m gonna help you guys even though there’s nothing in it for me other than sharing knowledge which will probably be stolen and rewritten by some faggot trying to get more views on his page but here goes.

After being friends with women for years I’ve been around them long enough to see how they evaluate guys on tinder, why they swipe right/left and why they buss it open on the first date for certain dudes.

Some of the stuff I teach you in this you can apply right away the rest I recommend going to Roosh/Heartiste for and leveling up personally because I can only give you so much.

Let’s break it down

  • Macro
  • Bio
  • Pictures
  • Openers
  • Number closes

So we’re going to start with the basics and it’s stop wasting your time swiping right consuming many hours of your day. The harsh truth is tinder isn’t the same for men and women they mostly swipe left until they see someone who tickles their fancy unlike guys who swipe by would smash, wouldn’t smash and I would smash if no one finds out ever.

As a guy you should be spending your hours reading, doing a sport and getting that paper not swiping bitches who give no fucks about you on tinder so here’s what we’re gonna do to make this easier

Macro

The best way to get matches is to leave your phone on overnight with a macro doing the swiping for you. When you’re playing your PS4, your web whatsapp should be open on your laptop and your phone should be auto-swiping bitches. You’ll delete the fatties who even have the cheek to swipe right on men of your caliber and the ugly chicks whose bravery for swiping right in the first place you can only respect.

Get your phone rooted and download Hiro Macro on the android from the google play store. If you have an iPhone I’m sorry but I can’t help technophobes get a real mans phone or figure out how to get a macro working.

This is my profile after like two days not a chicks profile if you look closely you’ll see bitches. I fucked two of them within the week I downloaded this shit.

[Edit 16/01/2017 – When using the macro be sure to not autoswipe right anymore as tinder picks it up and will stop you from matching with anyone. Do a random pattern and even though you’ll lose out because you might miss a few hotties you still end up winning because you’re still not dedicating time]Screenshot_2016-04-21-12-17-16

 

Bio

The truth about the bio is chicks glimpse this shit they don’t read it so don’t bother with the long ass fucking bios because ain’t nobody finna read dat shit. The way to grab a chicks attention is to make your bio a qualifier. If you don’t know what a qualifier is then you have a long way to go in game but I’ll be nice and tell you. It’s when you make women prove themselves to you because you’re the prize not them.

I would share my bio but you fuckers will copy pasta it and then I’ll have to find something else but here’s a throw away one “If none of your exes call you crazy we’ll get on just fine”. What a bio like this does is show women you have standards and you won’t stick your dick in anything. If she’s a nutjob then you’ll not entertain any bullshit from her and you’ll be onto the next one in no time. You’ll be surprised how many women will message you trying to prove themselves to you and opening you first.

You’re also free to stick your height if you’re tall and one of two facts about you (Job/Sports you play) before your qualifier because it cuts the bullshit chit chat and you can call her out for not reading your bio and going straight to your pics which again you can use to push the convo further.

Here’s some examples

Screenshot_2016-04-29-00-55-20
If you notice I haven’t asked her shit

 

Pictures

This is a MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR (See how many times I typed major because that’s how important this is) key.

Get a female friend to show you her tinder and you’ll clock something right away and it’s that so many guys take shit pics like absolutely shit. You could be a 7/10 solid but that topless mirror selfie will turn you into a 4/10 without you even realising.

Here’s what you’re gonna need and it’s professional pics taken by an editorial photographer there was even a post on rooshs forum about it which made me fork up the £90 and finally do it and let me tell you this the matches will follow.

It cost me £90 to go around London with a professional photographer who knew what he was doing and the pics came out amazing. I noticed the dramatic spike in matches as in literally the day before with my shit pics I was getting 10 matches a day and now I get 50-100 which I can prove with pics. I’m a strong 7 in my own eyes which is what you should all see yourself as even if you’re not (Fake it till you make it) and my pictures now reflect the handsome bastard that I am.

When it comes to selecting pics you need a pic of you with bitches to prove you’re not some sexual delinquent who doesn’t get bitches, a pic of you doing shit either professional or taken by a friend and by doing shit I mean like playing a sport/eating/travelling to prove you’re not some ready meal shut in with onset autism (Onset autism is basically like being the hulk except you become autistic randomly) and two professional pics showing your face/height/body or whatever your positive traits are.

TL;DR Get pro pics you lazy git and bitches will follow.

Here’s a link to the thread I’m on about https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-45167.html

 

Openers

Now I wrote a txt file on rooshvforum years ago with all the best tinder openers man could use but it’s dated as shit and everyone has probably used every opener on it so it’s time for a new set of openers that work.

I will be updating this with shit that works and stuff that doesn’t with screenshots.

My newest opener which has been working wonders is the single emoji. I learned this from someone a few years my younger but with strong game non the less and it’s actually been a nice thing I picked up.

Who says you can’t learn anything from the younger gen.

Single emoji opener is basically sending the eye emojis or my recent fave a panda (due to that shit song by desiigner) to chicks and what this does is firstly save time having to think of something unique for every chick because they aren’t that special (so stop trying to be inventive as it won’t get you that pussy any quicker) and it helps with deal with the obvious bot problem which has plagued tinder from the get go.

I’ll probably do a dedicated post later on regarding this so stay tuned

[Edit 1/16/17 – Simply sending a girl “Rain drops” is the opener thats been killing it for me now if you don’t know why then you don’t deserve to know why. Jks I’ll do a post on it.]

 

Number closes

 

Now there’s gonna be a question you use before every number close and it’s “So where are you from and what are you looking for on tinder”. Every single girl will give you the same bullshit answer of just passing the time or making friends even if she has slept with enough men on there to be buried in a Y shaped coffin but what you’re going to do is use this and basically repeat what she says and then transition it into a number close.

Let’s say for example she says “I’m looking for someone to spend nice evenings with” you simply follow with “Same actually I reckon we might get along in person then, what’s your schedule like/whats your number” It’s simple and it works because she will believe you have the same interests as her even if you just wanna blow her back out.

Another one of my solid faves is to say to a chick “Netflix, Coffee or Bar date” which is basically giving her three options.

Coffee is boring as shit and you know if a chick picks this she is hella boring, Netflix is generally a no because of slut defence so you’re pretty much always guaranteed drinks and then after that you can transition into a number by saying lets go for drinks then.

Screenshot_2016-04-11-23-37-41

close
The message sent eventually lmao

I could teach you how to turn a number into a non-flake and guaranteed bang but that comes in future posts of my blog.

 

I’ll just post a bunch of shit now that you might learn from or not.

If you need any tinder advice or help then hit me up at godismanadvice@gmail.com

 

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